God only knows what I was thinking, leaving poetry behind

Oh, hell. I know what I was thinking.

I was thinking that I could put all my eggs in the high tech basket and have it, well, work out over the long run. I was thinking that I could “brand” myself a “technologist” and then play on that stage, where I’ve been professionally active for, like, 30 years.

I was thinking that I could embrace the machine with all its ghosts, that I could cultivate deeper understanding and appreciation in others for what technology is truly capable of. I was thinking that I could help make sense of it. And whatnot.

The only problem is, technology is a middling servant and a horrible taskmaster. Just horrible. Awful. And all the promises the global big tech people make are essentially on par with the promises a philandering husband makes to his lawfully wedded wife, as he sleeps his way back and forth across the country (especially in Vegas, because prostitution is legal there, and you know what they say about things staying in Vegas)… leaving a whole generation of bastard spawn in his wake.

You really can’t believe anything they say. Really can’t.

So, lesson learned. I got into high tech because I saw the amazing possibility of being able to publish independently, and that’s what I’ve been doing, lo these many years.

I saw the possibility of simple elegance, of doing a lot with very little. Unfortunately, I’ve seen precious little of that.

And along the way, although I have written some poetry that I’m happy with, my output has been spotty at best, completely absent at worst. Every now and then, I’ll come across a collection of works I did, some years ago, and I’ll print them out and dust them off. But my approach has been almost… haphazard. As though it were an afterthought, versus a real-deal thing that actually deserved my full devotion and attention.

But now, being sufficiently burned out (and burned) by the big tech thing, and realizing how very, very, very much I miss actual etymologically meaninful literacy (which is what I strive for), and being utterly dismayed by the increasing dearth of, well, something I’d consider literature (versus artful propaganda), it’s time to return.

I’ve unearthed my works from 2003, 2006-2009, 2012, 2018… and I’m taking another look. Because if they were good enough to keep around back them, I’m guessing there may be something there for me now. If not, good-bye and good riddance, but I’ve always been pretty diligent about ditching the shite before it goes out to the world.

Speaking of big tech betrayals, I’m probably just going to blog here, and put all my poetry on another domain on my own server with my own content management system (“CMS”), which I wrote myself in response to the ultra-wasteful and irresponsible database-driven CMSes proliferating in the world. (Make it stop… tho’ I know they never will.) I’m sick to death of WordPress, and every new “update” they do makes it slower and less intuitive for someone like me. How depressing. But I’ll probably still blog here, since they have nice integrations with social media and I have like 68 followers – woo hoo – that I don’t have over at the other domain.

Enough talk. Let me go get that other domain and start setting it up.

And let me post another piece I’ve been working on.

I’ve got work to do.

Author: Kay Lorraine

Poet, publisher, programmer. I still like PHP.

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